Posted on: 17th Dec, 2012 10:11 pm
I have moved in with my boyfriend 2 months ago.. He needed a roomie and I needed a place. For the most part it’s been good. I’m currently getting unemployment.. and he has a great job but also lots of debt. He pretty much pays the rent, electric, etc and I pay for food and household stuff and give him cash when I can...My kids are coming back in few months time to live with us and I will be getting child support.. and by that time I should also be working. I think my BF is scared of having to "pick up slack" He made some strange comment the other day about how if we ever get married he wants to keep our finances completely separate as he likes to go to Starbucks etc and doesn’t want me, 'getting mad at him for silly spending"... I’m very thrifty. How does one deal with finances in a new marriage...it seems odd to split everything.. He makes almost 2x the amount I make.. Should I always be expected to pay half of all bills? I know I have the kids as well but that’s why I get child support.
Hi Kolly!
Welcome to forums!
Money matters can get complicated after marriage as two people will have two different mindsets while dealing with finances. This can be a major problem in your relationship and might even lead to divorce. Thus, if both of you donâhave similar mindset, it will be better to sign a pre-nuptial agreement and keep your finances separate. As far as paying the bills is concerned, you and your boyfriend should decide in this regard.
Feel free to ask if you've further queries.
Sussane
Welcome to forums!
Money matters can get complicated after marriage as two people will have two different mindsets while dealing with finances. This can be a major problem in your relationship and might even lead to divorce. Thus, if both of you donâhave similar mindset, it will be better to sign a pre-nuptial agreement and keep your finances separate. As far as paying the bills is concerned, you and your boyfriend should decide in this regard.
Feel free to ask if you've further queries.
Sussane
Fact remains that money and relationship are completely separate and don't always go hand in hand. The best thing would be to talk it out with your boyfriend about why he wishes to keep the finance bit separate even after marriage. Be calm and handle the situation like 2 matured adults. Even if you have kids, he still accepted you for what you're. So if he decides to marry you, then obviously it'll be a decision that'll take into consideration your kids and financial circumstances as well.
I believe that when people got married their money is usually being shared by both of them. In your case, since your BF wants a separate finances even when you get married, maybe he feels secure in the way that you two handle your finances now. I guess he feels its alright that way. Then, if you don't like it that way, why don't you tell him? You two need to talk about that.
Thanks for sharing your opinion, Tony!! :)
When you are in a new marriage, you need to talk about your finances with your spouse immediately. It is not a good idea to split everything and to spend on your own because that is where problems arise. Having to spend your own money gives you the chance to lie to and cheat on your spouse. Couples should always try their best to join their money with no regards to how much each one of you makes. However, there should be rules, for example, if you want to buy something over a $100, make it a point to discuss it with your spouse first to avoid fights and misunderstandings. Having joint finances will enable couples to discuss more and to be more honest with each other. Regularly check your credit score and monitor how your credit score changes to keep a good track on your expenses. Make sure that you visit this article http://goarticles.com/article/Effect-of-Marriage-on-Finances-of-Husband-and-Wife/7141540/ to know more about dealing with finances in marriage.