If I qualify for a modification, does the servicer have to give one?

i lost my job of 28 years in july 2008. i now receive $1300 per month disability, which is about 25% of what i earned at my job. my mortgage payment is $1006 per month, plus property tax and insurance. my mortgage servicer, greentree servicing, is participating in the federal modification program. i have contacted them on four occasions by telephone. each time the agent asks me the questions from the program. each time i qualify. each time they say that they will send me out the necessary paperwork for apply, but i never receive it. when i call back, it's the same questions again, with the agent acting surprised that my packet never arrived.
in the meantime, no other loan provider will touch my loan for refinancing because my current debt-to-income ratio now approx 97%. and, that is dragging my fico score down around 600. furthermore, each month greentree contacts me if i am even a day late with their payment with the agent making snide remarks about my paying any other bills (or even buying groceries) or open ended threats about what will happen if my payment is delinquent. frankly, i have almost reached my end with greentree. my family wants me to surrender my deed in lieu of foreclosure, but my parents built this house and i have lived here 41 years. and, i also have approx $15000 in equity built up that i would hate to hand over to greentree. i noticed on the program site that greentree is signed up but are amongst the lowest companies in offering modifications at around only 4% of those who qualify.