heading toward foreclosure on my home

I applied for the Home Assistance Modification program with my lender, the did a interview over the phone and said I qualified for the trial period and gave me a reduce payment to make for the next 90 days while they processed my new loan. After making my new payment as directed for 90 days I did not hear from them if I had been accepted into the program beyond the 90 day trial period. I called the mortgage company and was told they were still processing my case. Now 4 months at the new payment...I call the following month to ask if my case had been completed. They said yes that I was denied and now I have to pay for the 4 months I am behind from not making my full payment along with penalties and added fees. I do not have the back payment amounts and I cannot afford my current house payment as it stands. I lost my job after many years and have never been late in the past. My mortgage company referred me to short sale/deed in Lieu dept. While I am communicating with them frequently, I still receive calls from the collections department that treats me like the scum of the earth for now owing them past due payments. I am emotional drained and see no way out....I do not have equity in the home, I'm sure the house is not worth what I owe...what are the next best options for me??? Please help