obligations after bankruptcy when bank is foreclosing

we began a home affordable modification process 9/10, to reduce our mortgage, when we found out we were upside down by almost 2/3. we were over income for most programs, and we did not follow through with all the paperwork in the modification process. we received a denial notice late 2010. we also had to file for bankruptcy 11/09, as my husband was laid-off. our lawyer entered reaffirm on the house, but we did not sign an agreement and moved out shortly after our court date 6/1/10. my concern is that because the bank would only speak to us about paying the debt, we contacted a friend in the real estate business to contact the bank. our friend contacted the bank and i believe applied for a deed in lieu of foreclosure to surrender the property. the bank sent us a denial for a deed in lieu stating it is because we declined to complete a short-sale, which we did decline because of the bankruptcy. we sent a copy of the bankruptcy discharge to the bank, too. so now i am very confused and extremely worried as to whether or not this means we tried to reaffirm the debt and are now under a new obligation for the foreclosure that began recently. can you help me make sense of all this? i would appreciate your guidance very much. thank you.